She likes the yellow ones

cez @ 2006-02-07T01:17:00

2006-02-07T01:14:50Z

I must be tired because I am slowly freaking myself out. There are strange going ons outside my back door and where as the usual me would plow right in and have a nose, 'Tonight Matthew, I'm going to be a wimp...'
The big curtain is creased so i have now convinced that when i sneak over there to close it, a man in a scream mask is going to be lying in wait, peering in.

If you do hear of my demise it is either the strange water-people [who I'm annoying with the lack of door opening] or the odd drilly/hammery/listen to bohemian rhapsody all the time people of next door....I believe one of their names is Paul.

Actually...i need to know now.

Dear apple, i love you. love and peeps, cez xx

2006-01-09T22:58:53Z

so shiny and new
podpodpodpodpodpodpodpodpodpodpodpodpodpodpodpodpod

love it

cez @ 2006-01-09T17:49:00

2006-01-09T18:46:38Z

The Pod is back......The Pod is back........The Pod is back........wooohooooo.......Love that Pod........

I now eagerly await the download of the new i-tunes so i can play...
In other non-pod related news i travelled up to the big city of London early yesterday to watch Cirque de Soleil.....Ah-maze-zzzing....Unfortunatly I may be a little long in the tooth to join that group [cos they'd let me...]....

I wasn't going to go out Saturday, but I'm weak and was talked into it.

Miss H dropped in for a glass of wine before we planned to head out. Unfortunatly my weak body had other ideas, and half a glass of wine in it seemed to say 'enough' and decided to feel rough. I thought it may be a bad idea to risk town, so seeing as only the tiniest scrap of alcohol had passed my lips two hours before, thought I would give Miss H a lift in. [Wierdly, we were getting ready to go, and the contents of my stomach decided they wanted to be out.....I hardly ever throw up....interesting]

So not willing to be beaten by the weakness of my own body I brush my teeth and head for the car.
On the way in, I'm stopped at the traffic lights, as you do when they are red....and I look into my rear-view mirror. [General Info:Since the Great Car-Crash of December 04, I'm prone to chanting intructions at people in other vehicles for example, 'You stay there' 'Please stay in that lane' etc. etc]

So I look into my rear-view mirror and start chanting 'Please dont hit me, please dont hit me, please dont.....'

What do we think happened next??
Was it option 1? The car glided to a beautiful halt just in the nick of time and this is a dull story to waste time while I wait for I-Tunes?
Was it option 2? That the sick had got into my eyes and I imagined the car speeding before me?
Or was it option 3? The girl got brake and accelerate muddled up, skidded on some ice and came to rest on my bumper?

If you guessed option 3, Bravo, you win the prize.....I'm thrilled for you.

i thought it was taking a while.......

2006-01-06T20:23:25Z

This oven is going to gas me to death. I MAY have had it on for over two hours and the damn thing is still cold.....the smell of gas when i removed my carcass from the shower was a LITTLE overpowering.

mmm mmm mmm gassy...well done evans for noticing, on the ball again, i see.

arg!

2006-01-03T19:55:42Z

DAMN
YOU
APPLE

the single tear did not stress out the apple man.

cez @ 2005-12-17T18:21:00

2005-12-17T18:32:30Z

My food seems to be taking about four and a half years to cook. I may starve before it is ready. Coco Pops for breakfast do not keep you full all day........but there is a wonderful torch in it- it projects a happy hippo.....absolutly blinking marvelous.
I feel like I have had a really intense work out today, but where after I would have that positive glow of burning those calories, i have odd stretched Popeye-muscle-arms, an aching back and a large hole in my bank account where money used to live. I'm thinking I should have caught a bus, not stubbornly walked the seemingly gazillion miles home. But i think the shopping is just about done. excellent.

cez @ 2005-12-06T21:31:00

2005-12-06T21:36:41Z

I'm wondering how exactly I go about politely asking crazy-eyed, druggy lady and odd-stare man to stop harrassing me for water. I really don't mind sharing, but where as it was now and again a few weeks ago, it then morphed into once a week and now it's once a day, apart from not just the day. It's quite late at night.....an I absolutly refuse to revert back to my old ways of yore and being afraid to answer the door.
They have also realised that in me they have found a soft sucker and have gone from just bringing over a kettle, to a kettle and a glass to now me having to make multiple trips from front door to flat to fill up the selection of pop bottles, kettles, buckets, glasses....anything that holds liquid.

Ugh. If this journal entry starts to take on a strange slant, chances are I have been beaten over the head and they are eating my crunchie-nut cornflakes.

cez @ 2005-12-02T23:34:00

2005-12-03T00:04:10Z

What's this Evans? In on a Friday night? Shouldn't you be propping up a bar somewhere???? hmmm...yes....ill....damn you winter.Have to get the juice out and doublerly abuse my body tomorrow.

In other news my finger may have accidently slipped onto a certain little song... You know you love it.

ting ting ting ting twing ting ting ting twang ting ting ting twoing.... IiiiIIiii don't want a lot for christmaaaas *CLANG* There is just one thing iIIi neeeed *CLANG* I dont care about the preseeeents *CLANG* underneath the christmas treeeee *CLANG*

Sing it Mariah....

Although, in my defense if I hadn't been waiting patiently for someone to finish uploading a large [perfectly legal] file [which i'm sure was cool] i never would have bothered.....hmmm..yes

The good news is I had stupidly left my desktop in the shared folder *bravo* - the thing that made me chuckle and the only reason i even noticed was because someone was uploading one of my current 'works in progress' ...a rather attractive Flash File that currently goes by the name of "The Chicks Have A Christmas Message."

Whatever chicks the poor soul was looking for.... I don't think he got it....and if he did I need to report him.

hehe....me? Never!!

2005-12-01T22:28:37Z

<td align="center">

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com</td>

cez @ 2005-11-29T21:31:00

2005-11-29T21:31:48Z

Aaaaaahhhhh....the internet is still here. And I'm educated now so better able to enjoy it....

I accidently set fire to my left leg today....well not the actual leg, more the trouser area below the knee, the knee high boots saved me from a proper roasting. It was nice. I was warm for a moment.

I shall now head to a *looks around shiftily* perfectly legal sight where i can download some perfectly legal tunes because the pod is feeling neglected.

cez @ 2005-11-29T17:39:00

2005-11-29T17:57:14Z

......And cue the glorious angel music of heaven and all things beautiful in all the world. It has happened at last. It has taken....hmmm....good grief FIVE MONTHS!!....seven letters, twenty nine and half-ish hours on hold, one cancelled direct debit, eleven different people from the credit department and I wouldn't even guess [but I've already spoken to five today] people from broadband support....but bravo Naveen, you my son have succeeded where all those idiots before you have failed. Lets take a moment to give thanks for Naveen.....NTL will now stand for 'Naveen The Lover' in my book. [and with that I was dragged off to a nearby padded cell..]

I did actually think it was fixed yesterday, but the idiot who spoke to me in work yesterday told me lies. But as I gleefully headed home with all the big companies in my life killed I was deeply saddened to realise that the car was coming to a halt. Although it was a pleasure to use the AA seeing as I actually have the service...it was also a bit of a bugger to be sat there in the freezing cold waiting for said AA man.
Naturally I showed off all my amazing mechanical skills, with the description of 'well there is a light with a picture of life-support machine sat on a spring and another light with that looks a little like a yellow submarine and the car isn't moving'

Fun,fun,fun.

In other news I have a lovely sore throat/chest/snot related thing today...mmmm mmm delicious. I'm reluctant to admit that at my old age I'm now too old to party till between 4 and 6am four nights on the trot. An elderly.....or I could continue to blindly blame it on glandular fever....

A lesson for us all......

2005-11-14T20:54:50Z

And what have we learnt?? Anyone like to hazard a guess?? I'll give you a clue, it's about downloading lots of music when using someone elses magic-air internet connection when you actually have something important to do that NEEDS the internet....Because Miss Evans....you may actually find that eventually ....2hendy.....god love them, will grow weary of your cheekiness and uh....cut you off......DAMNIT!!

So I now find myself back in the gloriously boiling HOT place place where pan-pipes live, next to the smelliest man in all the world....Karma always gets me with a vengence.

In other news, I'm up to letter seven to NTL....what they didn't count on was my ability to write really sarcastic long winded and/or short cutting letters that criticise their shoddy customer service. hmmm....this is going to end badly.

Should actually do what I'm here for, step away from the ebay....you do not need anything else, the flat is full.

Could someone please drop over with some frozen peas?Petit Pois are my fave

2005-11-12T13:13:26Z

I feel slightly concussed. I imagine the cause of this is running full pelt at a door frame. I'm not sure if I just actually knocked myself out or if the door frame to floor journey was really quick...hmmm. I have a not-so-strange line of injuries stretching down my body. The lump that has already formed on the forehead is looking good.

I have recently become EVEN MORE cack-handed.....Having now ruled out this month that steak,falling museli and a door frame aren't going to be behind my death.....I imagine its going to be a good one.....or one that my mother will feel too ashamed to share with the public.....

insomnia is the devils work

2005-11-08T00:33:31Z

ah ha....'my' magic-it's-in-the-air--comes-to-me-through-the-power-of-angels,internet has returned to me. It took me five days of wondering....[and someone pointing it out to me [a bright]] but i now know where the little angels who don't believe in passwords reside. I considered giving their letterbox a loving lick on saturday - but it looked like it needed a good bleach and i think there are better ways of saying thankyou than licking/bleaching a persons letterbox....I may nip over now and drop off a carrot and a mince pie for them being so kind.
In other news, rugby = strange folks are let out, and saturday saw a delightful array of freaks on the loose. Next time I'm taking a big stick, or a small log..and a really large handbag to cunningly hide it in.
I have the dentist tomorrow...woohoo

cez @ 2005-11-02T17:45:00

2005-11-02T17:45:15Z

Wooooooo Hooooooooo

I don't know who's wireless internet connection this is but I'm LOVING IT!!!!!!!

Must lock doors in case they come and get me with sticks

I WIN......mwa ha ha haha haha

2005-10-06T18:15:52Z

I may have had to sell my soul, spend four months on hold and killed eleven people but i have whooped the backsides of Orange and BT.
I feel a need to stand on the side of a mountain, covered in face paint, shouting Mel Gibson stylee.....NTL are proving to be a little more elusive, but I am optimistic.

If any one else needs me to harrass a large company, send me a pigeon....as I fear that is the only way people will be able to contact me from here on in...

ugh.

2005-05-13T12:38:16Z

Today is everything a good Friday the Thirteenth should be. I shall now hunt down a man named Wayne and wringe is useless neck.

Star Wars Day

2005-05-04T18:12:33Z

May the fourth be with you............aha ha ha ha ha hohoho. I wait all year to use that gem. Customers also like it. But not really. More are confused by it, and then disappointed.
Luckily I have the whole month to adopt my best Clint Eastwood voice and mutter 'Go ahead...make my May'.
I'm now doubting whether or not it's Clint.....hmmmm...... The brain. It is filled with snot.
I tried to blame my lack of computer knowledge to the man in PC World on my snot-filled brain. He looked [what can only be described as] bewildered. It was a look I was not expecting, which made me laugh, and pretty much cover him with said snot. The trauma I put that man through was not worth the rewards he would not have reaped from that £4.99 mouse. Needless to say, I won't be hurrying back there.
I may have accidently planned a truly, truly, truly squat French Door, which the men may have stupidly made. Damn them. So if anyone wants one please let me know, I'm sure I can arrange a cheap price.
This week smells like it is going to go badly.

cez @ 2005-04-18T16:49:00

2005-04-18T16:03:30Z

Pah....damn postman. Only ever brings bad news. I'm buying a dog......or a dragon. Try it on then Postie....I dare you.
In an effort to make some extra cash for the well digging, I'm going to sell germs on ebay. I'd make a link, but I have no interest in learning those computer shananigans.....i find it vulgar.
I'm offering sore throat, a potential cold, a month-long headache, constant weariness, clouded over eyes, and glandular fever to whoever is lucky enough to be the highest bidder.....so bid away my pretties, and I'll give you a lick and the germs will then be yours to gently stroke and keep you company on those long nights in.
In other news nobody here is being counter-[is it]sued? ...... oh good. I don't know.
A stupid. It involves money.....
But I'm pretty positive about it not going in my favour. Excellent.

Uhem........

2005-03-24T19:10:25Z

MARCH 27TH
ENJOY ST. PEEP'S DAY!

IT'S COMING.....

I've given an offering of cake to the Gay. He seems pleased. Simple things.....

2005-02-21T17:36:27Z

Good to see Miss Dewar over the house. You should slink over more often. We'll watch more good/bad 80s movies.[Just hope that you are up to date with all of your jabs as the dirt is a-lurking.]
The House. It tires me out. When we first viewed it the size seemed like such a nice idea. A large living room, a spacious kitchen, a good-sized computer room off the living room, a spare room, a roomy hall-way, a reasonable bathroom and all of us blessed with massive bedrooms. It all seemed like a dream come true. What wasn't taken into account, was that if you don't want to live in complete filth and only one of the housemates helps you [for once Gay, i'm saying nice things about you...even if it is only half a job..hehe] you do feel like the job is never-ending. I've never seen a Dyson so full from just a living room.
My acceptance of last month [where i simply realised that if i wanted it clean I'd just have to do a bit ever day] has left me, and i can no longer be bothered. I've stalled at the living room.
Pity.

In other more boring news..[this is no interest to anyone]....I was doing really well, and not allowing the useless man-shaped thing I call Jasey-baby [in my mind] to annoy me. I had happily succeeded in a whole three days of not wanting to shake some common-sense into him.... or at the very least slapping him about a bit. Unfortunatly, my wife [as i like to call him...this pleases him....honest] seems to have a similar dislike, [although....thinking about it, it's much more about The Hate with wife] and had a lovely half hour rant. The good result of the rant is seeing that I'm not being an unreasonable crazy and others can see how useless the Jasey-Baby is. I think I would have enjoyed the rant more if it hadn't been on the factory floor, where the temperature was lurking around the zero. Chilly.

So after that, I had a really productive day hugging the heater.

A drunk

2005-02-18T23:55:30Z

I don't know why i'm drinking more. Truly I've had enough. But the main thing is I didn't just spill lemonade all over this keyboard....or perhaps the main thing should be that the damn thing still works....oops.
I was a little unclear before [i'm just going to leave the drunken errors from now on, it's takingh too long to soprt out] i merely had about 4inches off. I wanted to hack it all off, in some sort of strange, drunken, 'that'l sort it' type way. But the hairdresser, who was all of twelve, said i had a fat head and that no hair wouldn't suit me. A mean.
Alhto, she may have had a point.....
There are no exercises in the gym to sort out fat heads. Although the idea of lifting weights with my eye brows makes me chuckle.

Good grief, that bell just keeps ringing and ringing doesn't it?

2005-02-18T18:27:46Z

I decided to solve any worries I have swimming around my little brain in the usual way. Most people talk to people or make an effort to be proactive and solve whatever it is that is worrying them. Not I. I choose cutting my hair. So it's gone now. I think it perfectly highlights my fat head.

Need to go to the gym.

Freak Animal Zoos.....There just isn't enough of them........

2005-02-16T18:36:21Z

I saw a cat today with no legs.
It was just paws and then legs. Nothing else.

There's also a cat who lives on our street with only half a tail. I want them to mate. The idea makes me chuckle. Then maybe the offspring could mate with a bird with an impressive beak...like a pelican or a toucan....
Enough.

Love the Ipod

2005-02-15T17:47:17Z

After work today I went to look for some pretty shiny new case to put the Ipod in. [yes, it's started already...ipod, ipod, ipod]
Gay has this belief that if I carry it around in the box that it came in [so that I can whip it out to worship it at any given time...it's kind of alter-esque] I am 'looking to be mugged'. I can understand this line of thinking and so am currently storing it in my rather stylish white-ish chenile-ish bed sock that mother got me from Lidl's. It's a look...but I'm not sure it it's the one that suits the beloved one. I was too bone-idle to venture into town so I headed to Newport Road.
Not a successful trip. Not only was there a no result on the case front, but there was a traumatic 'incident' on Newport Road that involved the dreaded Right Turn, The Fear, some chickening out, Some Reversing back up the road, An angry looking van driver that made a point of mouthing 'women', [and then as I tried to mouth apologies and explanations back at him] of course.....some stalling, followed by some not good sounding grinding as I tried to turn the car back on. Generally, i've stopped feeling any shame about the fear of the right direction, but today I really wanted to give myself a hard slap.

In other news, I'm quietly optimistic about Gay involving himself in some 'cleaning fun' today. Ah the clean, it will be with us soon.